Why is the blame always put on the oldest child even when he or she has absolutely nothing to do with it?
Answer:
I guess that it is often felt that the older child is more responsible because of age and can maybe have some responsibility in the influencing of the younger siblings in the way of behavior, whether it is preventing something from happening or correcting the younger child or even reprimanding the child.
Some parents believe that the older sibling is in some way also responsible for the rearing of the younger children. Because the older child is older he or she is therefore more responsible and has an influence over the younger child. Which means, even though the younger child did something, the older child somehow could have prevented it, and therefore in a roundabout way, responsible too.
This often can lead to resentment or backlash. Or it can lead to happy sibling relations. I guess it mainly depends on the personalities of both children.
This begins in childhood but can continue on into adulthood, with the older sibling being dubbed the responsible one and the younger the free spirit, the older child somehow being "responsible" for the younger all through life.
Unfair - yes
But it happens.
I agree though with the above that there are always two sides to every story...but sometimes both sides are not quite what really happened.
I am the eldest sibling and I feel in a little way that I always had to set a good example for my younger sibling. This has made me into a more responsible person. We are both grown up, I still have his back, but now, he has mine too. We are best friends and all our sibling wars are long behind us. I felt the way you do when I was younger but now I think a little extra responsiblity can be a very good thing. I wouldn`t change a thing.
There are always at least 2 sides of a story, aren't there?
Being the eldest among the sibblings puts someone else to a level with lots of responsibility, thats why. Though it is not fully observed within our family while we are parenting our three kids, some sort of practices was of great help in molding our eldest daughter become responsible,disciplined and desissive individual.
If in some instances the status is bothering you, dont hessitate to communicate with your parents...they'll surely understand how you feel.
Think positive and take pride being the eldest. Good luck.
The eldest child is special in birth order. The eldest child tends to turns out more successful than younger siblings and has many other advantages throughout life. One reason for those advantages is the eldest child tends to be held at a higher standard than younger siblings. Enjoy the added challenge. Most certainly, enjoy the respect that goes with being held at such a higher standard. I believe with all my heart that there would be no war or suffering in the world if all firstborn children would turn around to their younger brothers and sisters and be the hero of justice and fairness and sacrifice and kindness and wisdom that all younger siblings dream of.
The reason the blame is always put on the oldest child is because most of the time the parents say that the oldest child sets the example for the rest of the kids and that the younger children watch the older child and act and do everything that the oldest child does, so dont act too bad and set the best example you can for your younger siblings.
I guess you are an oldest child and you have just been blamed about something.Anyway the blame is not only for the oldest child.The parents should consider the fault of the younger child too.The youngers usually drive mad the olders with thing which a parents may not even see(if the younger child has pinched or hit the older and the mother didn't see because she was watching TV.Then the older child hits back the younger but the mother already sees that and of course,blames the older child.It's wrong.And most parents should consider the two sides of the problem.
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