Is it still considered 'taboo' (if that's the right word) to be unmarried but having kids?
Answer:
I totally agree. I don't know what you want to call it, but I call it WRONG. A child needs both a MOTHER, and a FATHER LIVING UNDER THE SAME ROOF. don't believe it, take a look around, society has become a mess. I am not saying single parents are doomed to fail, but if your just having children w/out being married you need to rethink your life. There are reasons to be single, but to many people today think they can screw around. The sad part is, the child pays the price.
Only in 3rd world countries.
On what planet?
WHO CARES WHAT OTHER THINKS, IF YOU WANT A CHILD AND NOT MARRIED GO FOR IT. NOW DAYS THERE ARE ALOT OF WOMAN WHO ARE NOT MARRIED AND HAVE CHILDREN. ITS NOT LIKE IT WAS WAY WAY BACK WHEN YOUR GRANDPARENTS WERE BORN WHERE YOU HAD TO BE MARRIED TO HAVE CHILDREN.
In some societies it is still considered a taboo, unfortunately.
No, lots of perfectly respectable people choose not to marry. Some see marriage as an outdated institution. Others just never quite get round to it.
(I'm married myself. Have been since about the year dot. I don't think our kids would have suffered particularly if we had decided not to get married, though.)
That is just the sort of things that grannies say. It has been done for generations!
Not really. Some people may still frown on it, but there are loads of people who have kids together but are not married.
It depends on ones culture. In most of the world it is taboo. It is only in the so-called Western nations that this has lost some of its shame--and this is only since the late 1970s in the USA.
What irritates me is when I hear: I'll have his 3 kids but I'll never marry him!! How absurd is this!
no i don't think so
some people don't want to get married
sometimes children come before marriage
its up to the individual
years ago it was shame full there are so many people doing it that it isn't anymore.
not in this country anyway
it depends on the people and the culture they live as well as religion
I don't think so. These days there are less people getting married, mainly because of the costs involved, and I don't think that they should have to consider having children 'taboo'.
Not at all, I see nothing wrong in that. The people who will say it is wrong are generally religious folk, which is fine if that is what they want with their life, but I do not see anything wrong in that.
No, too many people do it now for it to be taboo.
Yes, you are a large sinner. You are not an alley cat, and you need to be wearing a device to keep you chaste, a chastity belt. this will teach you to keep your pants up,not down
Some people do still consider it to be a bad thing (I know my mum rather frowns upon it) but mostly society in general sees it as a perfectly acceptable option. Personally, I would rather be married before having children (security, I believe in marriage, various other reasons.) but I certainly have no problem with people who don't. One thing they should bear in mind is that the father of the children will have a harder time with access/custody rights if the parents aren't married, that's why in this situation the children will often take the father's surname.
I'm not married and I've got 3 children, Any1 doesn't like it? Tough!!
I think society is more accepting now. When it comes to having children though the father is still penalised for not being married. He has no natural rights, if things go wrong and the couple split up then he has to go to family court and apply for parental responsibility. Crazy situation.
Just like to add that i am female, just think its stupid and unjust when so many people live together now.
Yes. Especially being one who did just that, I can tell you what people's reactions are...
THey cover it up after about split second, but I know it's there.
Oh, well. I coulda been married and we could had a lot more fights when we broke up due to lawyers.
Kid's lucky if you ask me.
I think it is accepted a lot more these days as there are so many different 'families'. However, there are probably some people who still hold traditional values or who are from an older generation that might disagree with children born to an unmarried mother. Whatever is right for you and your family should be done, don't worry about others' opinions
If it's not, it ought to be. Research is very clear that day care is incredibly destructive to the intellect, social skills, emotional health, and physical well being of infants and toddlers. So, since most single people are unable to raise their kids themselves, it should be de facto taboo on that basis. But, that's not even all the bad news. A huge study of every person in sweden over decades has shown that children of single moms do very poorly compared to children or married moms. They are worse off emotionally and socially.
A terrible thing has happened where a huge percentage of the populace doesn't much care about their own children - they chant this mantra that if mommy's happy everyone's happy or that babies desparate for their mother's attention are really 'happy at day care with all their friends." They say 'mind your own business.' and "Don't be so judgemental."
Meanwhile, they are inflicting on society depressed, stupid, more aggressive, less attached, more sociopathic people - people who have kids without committed partners who stay for the duration are hurting society, they are not doing something 'private.'
Yes, yes, not every child of a single parent is depressed, aggressive, and stupid, but not everyone who smokes cigarettes will get lung cancer. So? The social practice of unmarried partners is extremely damaging to millions of individuals and to society as a whole.
And it's just plain mean to do to your own child. (Am not a believer in skygods of any kind - in fact, it is my training as a humanist that makes me appalled by all these folks who don't care how they bring kids into the world.)
not really. unless your family/church/community looks down upon that sort of thing...
who cares what others think, the miracle and excitement of having a child outweighs the worries of others taughts
I think what you mean is 'unethical', and no I don't believe so. In my opinion and circumstance, I am not married but engaged and 24weeks pregnant with my first child at present. We have been engaged for over a year and after becoming pregnant I still maintain my decision to have our daughter unwedded. I see no reason why I should rush into the marriage now because I am pregnant. Many family members insist that I should get married now that I am pregnant and they can't understand why I don't want to get married soon. I let them know that even though we are engaged we planned for our wedding in two years and I WILL NOT rush into a marriage because of my pregnancy. If we happen to part before we get married, our daughter will still have TWO loving parents to look out for her. If (God forbid), we break up sometime in the future a marriage cannot make it work out if we cannot make it work......so whether or not a couple is married with children it all depends on the persons involved and not the marriage. The people have to make the 'situation' work out. I know of many people who get married because of a pregnancy and then cannot make the marriage work. I don't want to be in that position. Have a great day!
Its a load of rubbish.I dont think it matters if your married or not.I wasnt but i am now.It has nothing to do with anybody whatsoever if you are or not.I think we are now in a different era and shouldnt be made to feel like we are still living in the sixties!if people are together and love each other why should marraige matter?Aslong as a child has people around it that love and care for it what difference does a ceremony do to the love for that child.
People who do have an issue with that are too old fashioned to see beyond their own noses anyway .OH,but what will the neighbours think?Who cares!
Can it mean the father is not fully committed to the family? that the mother and the state bear the financial responsibility for bringing up the family, the father can make contributions but is not fully committed.Still it is not taboo in western societies and acceptable but not preferable.
Well, the taboo has been pretty much eradicated in our society, however it still exists in other societies where honor is still important. We have changed to accept it from both fully capable single adults who can provide most of what the child(ren) need AND from young, uneducated, ill-prepared nearly-children themselves parents creating these young lives and then drawing completely on their parents and society to get them through it. While I don't judge them as bad people, I do feel they are not in the right place in their lives yet to be effective parents yet.
I wish our society still discouraged it from these very young moms (usually the dad is out of the picture after a short time due to the stress and heavy responsibilities he is not prepared to deal with despite the best of intentions). It isn't fair to the children being born into these situations and it isn't fair to the young mothers who are jumping into something that should happen a few years down the road.
I know my conservative views will get blasted by liberals who think everyone has an absolute right to do everything he/she wants no matter what effect it has on others. But I'm entitled to my opinions, too, even if they aren't the same as yours so back off.
only amonst relgious nuts who are into stoning teenager girls to death or bringing back witch burning for healing the sick
No, I don't think so, just like there is no such thing as have to get married.
I think that getting married does not ensure that you will be great parents. Having children has everything to do with providing a loving stable environment in which children are safe and able to thrive. I have never seen this guarantee given to a married couple after saying I DO. There are plenty of well educated, financially secure, adults who choose not to get married but want to have children and I think that there should not be a social stigmatism attached to that
Just like any marriage within relationships where people choose NOT to get married there must be a common understanding of sticking through thick and thin, not just give up because there is no legal ramifications. My boyfriend and I have been together for 7 years we have a beautiful daughter and another on the way, we MAY someday get married but our family works just fine. I am a stay at home mom and we own our own business, we have made it longer than many of our married friends who are now divorced or in adulterous marriages.
Lastly, particularly to Cassandra above, although your research I believe is well intended it is not only single mothers who enroll their children in daycare, many moms CHOOSE to work and there is nothing wrong with that. If you research your provider and involve yourself in your child’s life I know MANY children who are just fine emotionally, socially, and at the top of their class who went to daycares.
Like anything else, the primary goal of having children is to be a good parent, that is not contentious on being married AT ALL. There are horrible single parents as WELL as married couples whose relationships are hindered by all kinds of problems, (alcohol, infidelity, and abuse) these are not particular to unmarried people. In the end everyone is entitled to their opinion isn’t that what life is all about :)
Im not sure it is taboo these days, was not married when i fell pregnant i did go on to marry the father but was not worried what people thought, i really wanted my child and it was not baby fault it happenned a bit before time. but each to their own!
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