Should I access my Daughter's "My Space" Account?
He said that every time he walked into her room she minimized.
He's not big on privacy invasion, which doesn't help us.
We share custody of her.
We have her every other weekend.
There is NO support at her Bio-Mom's.
I have some skills and the ability to get into her account.
Should I?
Answer:
I think this opens a good opportunity to communicate with your daughter, sit down with her and share your concerns about myspace with her. Myspace can be both good and bad, she can meet new people and stay in contact with friends. But there are also some places on there that are not good. Maybe sit down with her on the computer and have her go to her myspace and have fun looking up people and things with her, this will help you know what her intrests are. But also Remember you are the Parent and you should be able to set guidlines for her.
hope that helps good luck.
no, that is a total invasion of privacy
no. she might just have an online boyfriend.
As a teenager she would see it as an invasion of privacy but me as a mother I see no problem with it. At sixteen you know what kind of choises a girl can make and I see no harm in trying to keep an eye on her.
Yes! I remember (not too long ago) when I was 16 and spending hours on the computer- chatting to guys I shouldn't be chatting with. now with myspace, it's easy to contact anyone anywhere. It may be innocent curiosity to see who of her friends is on myspace... but let her know that you two don't keep secrets and you just want to know what she's up to. Good luck!
Yep, go ahead, she is a minor, and you would be responsible if something happened to her while under your roof.
No!@~
It is an invasion of privacy but if you think she is doing something that may get her hurt in some way you can but if you are just nosey don't.
depends on her maturity. make sure she knows how to handle any situation she may come across on there.
i've never done anything that would harm me on the internet but i still feel that if someone saw i might be embarrassed or something or they may go into a long discussion about it.
one time look at it and if you think it's unappropriate then access it or whatever
Yes, I would. We just had some girls at the school where i teach arranging to meet a "boy" (they thought he was 17, he was really 38). Very scary.
However, i would not hack into her account. I'd sit her down with you and tell her you were accessing her page together. Period. You are the parent; secrets can be dangerous. She will hate you now, but you could literally be saving her life.
YES!!
absolutely not
I think I would. After all it could be for her protection. She is too young to be stay ing up that late and she is obviously hiding something from you, why? Maybe you should approach her with that first and if you get the cold shoulder or she doesn't answer the you feel she should, or truthfully, then yes I would definately get into her myspace account. If she continues that kind of behavior take the computer out of her room, or disconnect the internet from her room. I know this is a tough and trying time, but You should do what you think is best. Listen to your heart, it will tell you what you should do. Good Luck!
I take it that this is a step-daughter? I wouldn't. Step-parents have difficult enough time building a trusting, loving relationship with a step-child. If she finds out, she would hate you for it.
However, if you do a simple search for her page... that is public and free for anyone to check out. Just not into her actual account. From her page, you can see what she has blogged, etc.
My recommendation though... would be to discuss it with her father and encourage him to do the dirty work. Explain your concerns and the reasons you think she may be up to something.
You do realize of course, that staying up late chatting with internet friends is a very normal thing for teenagers nowadays. She is probably just fine and you are making a big deal out of nothing.
Kids also feel a sense of privacy about their communications. My daughter minimized things all the time when I'd walk in. and she was just chatting on Christian websites that I was familiar with and approved of! Her friends online would even IM me sometimes and say hi!
Maybe just asking her what she enjoys on the net and not being pushy will allow her to open up to you, instead of invading her privacy.
Best Wishes,
Sue
i know your curious and all but dont do it, if she would find out that you did that its going to cause major problems, i would just try and talk to her, ask her whats going on in her life, ask her about boys, sex and drugs that kind of thing and maybe hopefully shell trust you enough to talk to you but if you invade her privacy and she finds that out she will never be able to trust you agian and could cause her to rebel against you in some way, just try and talk and in the teen age world invadeing space in a very big NO NO, what would you have done if your mother or any one would have invaded your space when you were 16
Yes I think you should be able to. Myspace is very dangerous for girls that age. There are guys on there and everything that try and meet girls. You can do it but do it with out her knowing and dont tell her you are unless you find something bad .
It's not an invasion of privacy...a myspace account is available to the general public...
What you should try to do first is get yourself a myspace account and use a diffrent name as your user name. Then browse through her age group till you think you have found her.If she has not set her account to private you will be able to see who are her friends and what her site looks like. If you can not get through that way yes hack into her system if YOU realy are worrried about her. I am 29 years old and a mother of 5 And feel I need to let you know that when I opened my account there were some 16 -19 year olds asking to be my friend. I declined and deleted my account. Hope you find everything is alright with your daughter. But if you are seriously worried you need to check into it. You know your mothers intuition is always right. Thats why we have it.
Absolutely... She's 16 which means she doesn't get privacy. You're her parent, enforce it!
Definitely not! Talk to her and tell her that you're concerned that everything is OK with her. You have to trust her sometime, if you don't trust over the small things then she will never trust you and tell you any big things.
I think you should ask her to show you her Myspace first. If she has nothing to hide, she will show it to you. If you know the name she goes by on Myspace, you can view it without her knowing.
ex. www.myspace.com/hername
If you see something questionable or if you feel she is communicating with bad people, then you should do it.
No, the MySpace area should be considered like her diary or journal. Think back to when you were her age and would you have wanted your mother to read your diary. If you are worried about something talk to her and explain that you are worried. Sometimes that's allot better than sneaking. Heck, get your own MySpace account and ask her to add you as a friend. Then you would be able to read her Blog and see her pictures. Just a thought.
My son is 17 and I made him give me his password and told him I would be checking his page periodically. I'm still the parent, he is still under-age, and with all the weird things kids can get into these days, it is my responsibility as a parent to keep up on him. He, of course, fiercely disagrees. But I told him if he didn't allow me access, then I would put a password on the computer so he wouldn't have access at all. I'm not saying I do it all the time, just when I think it's necessary.
Why don't you create a myspace and tell her the deal is if she has an account you have to be her friend. Then you can check her page and she what shes showing the world, because that's where the problem comes in, what she is advertising to everyone else. Set rules, it has to be set to private so only her friends can see it, and you'll be able to check who is on her friends list and see their profiles also. I'd do this before I started hacking, but if after this you still feel like there might be a problem you're missing then by all means hack into it. She's 16... still a child! She needs supervision weather she agrees with it or not. Don't want her to get kidnapped or worse run off with someone you don't know.
Do what you feel is right, you are the parent! Good luck!
Yes, you should, for her own good. Internet surfing and chat rooms have evolved into a sex predators' hideout, and a 16 yr. old child is easy prey. In the same way that you like to know who are your daughter;s friends, you should also know who is she communicating with online. Forget about this invasion of privacy yipyap, it's your daughter and you have every right to protect her. Don't feel bad about this. If you find nothing, you don't say nothing, no harm done. I hope this will be the outcome of your investigation.
So by saying Bio-Mom, I assume you're the step-mom? You need to get together with her dad and tell him how you feel. MySpace is a dangerous place...I have one and sometimes I hate it. It's totally full of drama and crap...and I have weirdos always asking to get together with me, but luckily I'm old enough (plenty old enough...out of my teens) to know better.
Now, when I was 15, I was up till all hours online doing innocent stuff and minimizing things from my parents...but that was because I'm shy and I hate them reading my private conversations...even if they were about what kind of house I'd like to live in, etc...dumb stuff.
Now about accessing her account, I'd have to go with a no...at least behind her back. That is a total invasion of privacy and it's sneeking around behind her back. That would teach her that it's OK. So she may never find out? Well, what if you find something BAD on there. She'll find out then.so you shouldn't do it without her there.
Talk to your husband then when she gets home from school (or something to catch her off guard so she won't edit it) and tell her you are curious as to what's on her MySpace. Let her know that you are doing it for her best interest and if she wants to get mad, that's fine...but you WILL see it right then. If there's nothing on there, then there's nothing she should worry about, right? So have her access it with you. Tell her you'll turn around (or something) so you don't see her information for her privacy but you want to see the page. Then, check it out. She may be mad about it, but she'll get over it and she'll at least (one day) appreciate the fact that you didn't snoop around for it...that you went about it honestly.
Good luck!
I think because she is posting online, that it is really important that you see what she's got on there. My sister and her friends posted pictures that were a little "revealing" and used it as a way to meet guys. You can look at her page without breaking into her account. If you see something posted that's upsetting, discuss it. You need to protect her from online predators!
Definitely! im sorry i know this may offend many people who believe that privacy is important but i feel at the tender age of 16 she is not fully ready to be left alone with complete privacy and trust. There are so many horrible things going on with myspace ... i think you should look once or twice and if you see that everything is normal then don't continue to look. Your her mother! You have a right to look and just imagine if you don't and something happens ... you will wish you did.
Hmmmm...maybe I old fashion, but why was she up until 2? I think a reasonable bedtime is around 11, maybe midnight, until they are 18, then they get the choice...I digress. Maybe the dad should approach very quietly behind her, or ask her to maximize the window with her there. It is most likely that she is just chatting with a boyfriend or something and is just embarrassed (16yos are like that). You really have to go with your gut. Do you just want to know or do you think something is wrong. If you really feel something is bad, by all means check it out. 16yo does not have the same freedoms as an adult, it is your job as a parent to make sure she is ok. Don't do it unless you think it is something horrible though because you will lose any trust she has given you once you do this. It might be best to let this one go unless the gut is screaming at you.
My initial reaction was "Absolutely! Whatever is necessary to keep her safe." However, from reading your question, do I understand correctly that you are not her biological mom? If so, then I think you have to defer to her dad. He and her mom have to make this decision.
Some things you might consider are taking the computer out of her bedroom and having her use it only in a more public area of the house. Talk to her about what she is doing on My Space and try to get a sense of what is happening. She is sixteen, so she is not a little kid anymore, but she is still at a very vulnerable age. Discuss Internet predators with her and make sure she understands that not everyone using such sites will be truly as they present themselves.
Best of luck and be watchful.
Of course you should. Just the fact that she kept minimizing would make me demand a passowrd immediately or deny her acess to the computer. If a predator got to her because of that account, you'ld have guilt and regret for the rest of your life. She's a child, not an adult. Protect her from herself.
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