Our 8 month old shares our bed and wakes 3-5 times per night to feed. Help!?
Answer:
If you are trying to wean him from breastmilk I would start immediately. If you feed him through the day and night a total of 10 times, cut it to 7 or 8, after a week or maybe two cut it down again. Substitute a cup during the day for those feedings(try chocolate or strawberry milk or even some apple juice)(usually something sweet does the trick!). It seems he is using the night feedings to soothe himself. Start with this first and stick to it no matter what. If he cries, let him cry, he needs to learn how to calm himself down.
When he is down to maybe 3 feedings per day, I would start trying to get him in his bed. When you put him to bed, make sure is is mostly awake. I'm not saying he needs to be totally alert. He can be asleep but you need to rouse him awake so he knows he is being put in his bed. When he cries, let him for 5 to 10 minutes. Most of the time they will fall back asleep. If he doesn't, go to him and rub his back and let him know you are there. Don't stay long, just until he calms down some. Then you need to leave the room. This time let him cry a little longer. This will be a hard process and it may take several days maybe even a week. You have to be consistant. If you give in it will take longer to get him back into his bed. you are not hurting him if you let him cry. He is in no physical danger, he is not hurting, and he is not hungry. I know this will be hard but it has to be done.
I wish you all the best luck in this.
Wow, you've spoiled your kid to the point of no return and he's only 8 months. This kid doesn't have a chance.good goin'.
wow.. I am sure that you didnt mean for this to happen.. it is so hard to let go of your child.. even when you sleep.. (dont listen to the 1st post) You are NOT a bad parent at all. My advice to you is going to be hard to hear, but necessary. Put your child in his crib at the same time everynight. If he wakes up.. give him a bottle of breastmilk that you have pumped before bed. Keep him IN HIS BED. Rock him to sleep if necessary.. but put him back in his crib. There will be crying.. but dont give up! The breast pump will be your best friend when you go back to work. Children need to have a routine. They crave it, so make sure you stay on that routine.. and Good Luck!!
It will be hard at first, but you'll just have to let him cry for awhile at first, after he get used to it he should sleep better alone.
I am a mother of two children, ages 9 and 3 years.
My daughter slept in bed with me until she was 5 and nursed til then too. My son, the 3 year old is still nursing and sleeping in my bed.
Once you get them hooked on falling asleep on the breast it is torture getting them off.
I love being that close to my babies and they never took a bottle or pacifier.
But, it does get annoying and I would do almost anything to get my son in his own room. When we try he wakes up and comes downstairs into our bed anyway.
There are some books and different ideas on weaning the baby from the breast.
I am sorry that you have to work such long hours. After being gone that long you may want to be close to your baby anyhow. She will have to adjust to having a bottle (it will take a while but be firm and consistent) while you are away. (hopefully you can pump your breasts).
Nursing is so good for them that if you still want to nurse after you start work-do! Just have Her on the bottle while you are away and give her the breast when you are home. The years go by so fast. The next thing you know they are mouthing off and trying to stay AWAY from you. Enjoy this bonding time.
pump your milk and ad cereal to it every feeding try putting baby on a scheldule. Put more food then recomended in bottle. Try mak bedtime fun for baby with story time or something gently ease them into getting in to the crib.
use a breast pump to store milk & when he fall aslepp put him in his crib when he falls asleep so he wakes up there & gets use to it
Cold turkey on the bed and the formula. Eventually he'll get tired and hungry and sleep in his crib and eat the formula.
start giving the baby... baby cerial at bed time. if you are not breast feeding give it in a bottle. use the formula scooper and give about 3 scoops.
If you are nursing him back to sleep.each time...it is going to be HARD. Plain and simple---he needs the sucking/comfort of breastfeeding to fall asleep. Sleep onset association. First of all, babies older than 6 months should be able to last all night without a feeding. So, if you really want to stop the night time nursing--you have to stop nursing him to sleep. Therefore, when he's waking up in the middle of the night, he can't get back to sleep---so you need to find another way to get him to sleep. You can also get your husband to tend to him in the middle of the night. Rock him, sing to him...whatever works so that he will stop associating nursing to fall asleep.
My second child had me jumping thru hoops with his night nursing. Every 2-3 hours a night. And he detested his crib on top of it. Not even a crib toy could distract him enough. He was in my bed all the time---out of ease and desperation on my part. I even woke up one night with him helping himself. My 2 yr old at the time, slept thru the night--thank goodness! My son's night nursing got more and more frequent around 6-7-8 months. We moved to our new house when he was 9 months...and I decided it was time to get him used to the crib. I also started to wean him--my decision. He didn't like the switch to formula--at first. I offered it to him at every meal in a sippy to get him used to the taste. He eventually took it WARM at first--and from a bottle..not a sippy cup. I ditched the bottle at 11 months with ease. Also, try nursing for a few mins then switching him to the bottle/cup. Or try having someone else feed him the bottle/cup...like grandma, husband...etc. You can also try cereal before bed...to fill his tummy.
Whatever you decide to do...you have to be ready for it--mentally...start and don't give in. If it goes badly, take a break and try again. And you need a plan and schedule. He probably has a schedule---you just need to be more consistent for 2-3 wks and try not to sway from it. STICK TO IT. Babies understand routine. If he goes down for a nap after lunch...he's going to start to feel sleepy and learn, ok, i eat, then take a nap. If you keep putting him in his crib, he will get it.
This has good information on sleep. http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild...
Also, I suggest reading some sleep books to understand what is going on better with sleep...and sleep onset associations. Ferber is not bad, there's a lot of great information on sleep. Mindell has a softer Ferber approach. I think one or both books actually have suggestions on how to breastfeed, without nursing to sleep.
Some kids are just bad sleepers. My son has never really slept thru the night. He's 2.5 yrs old..and about 2-3 times a week he wakes up once a night--a finds his way to our bed 1-2 times a week.
GOOD LUCK!!!!!
Good for you for meeting your child's nighttime needs. It's totally normal for him to do that. My daughter did, too. You can try the No Cry Sleep Solution if you want, or else he will just grow out of it. My daughter transitioned from our bed to a crib when she was two years old and it went smoothly and beautifully because she was ready. We bought her her own bedroom set and her own bed and talked to her about it excitedly. It was she who decided she wanted to sleep in her own bed. She still crawled in with us occasionally but then we got it to where now if she does want to come into our room she sleeps on a mat on our floor instead of in bed with us. This has been a gradual acquiring of independence on her part, as she was ready, with no tears at all. In my opinion this is the way to go, and my daughter is the happiest and most obedient and cooperative toddler I have ever known. She doesn't scream or hit or throw tantrums or grab things like other kids do and I think it's because her needs have been met her whole life long- she knows we will be there for her. If you'd like to get him to sleep in a crib you could put it next to your bed, nurse him to sleep and then put him in it. Do this every time he wakes. Then you could try moving the crib to another room if you want. This baby time is so short and it will be well worth meeting his night time and daytime needs when you see the kind of person it makes him become. You're setting the stage for his relationships for the rest of his life and you're doing a great job!
Do you have to go back to work? At this age he still needs you so much, and it's not just the breastmilk he needs. Please consider that as you consider whether to start working again. If your husband works it is possible for a family to live on his income as long as he makes at least $8/hr. Or consider watching a few kids at your house during the day instead of working outside the home. Or get a work-at-home job and work during his naps.
I moved my daughter out of our bed into a pack and play next to the bed when I figured out we were waking each other up all night long. She is 10 months now and wakes usually once a night to nurse. I don't mind much so I haven't really worked at cutting out the nighttime feeding. When you are ready for your son to move to his own room, having a bed he is used to helps. With our older daughter, she slept on a mattress on our floor at night and in her room at naps. Then we moved the mattress out to her room and told her she could come see us whenever she wanted. Obviously, she was a little older than your son--around 16 months I think.
For getting ready for going back to work, you might need to develop some additional routines or ask your partner for help. Maybe nurse at a rocking chair or with a special blanket so that when you aren't home, your partner can give a bottle with the blanket or in the chair. The goal is try and transfer some of the comfort away from your breast to a lovey object or another routine that someone else can do. Also, you might need to carve some good nursing time in throughout the day. Lots of babies make up mommy time at night. If he is getting good snuggles all through the day, he might be less likely to want them all night. (Not saying you aren't snuggling but he might be too busy to ask during the day). I also recommend Dr. Sears (No Cry Sleep Solution is one of many good books he's written).
Wow, your heart must be breaking. It's hard to deny your baby something he wants, even when it's for the best. I agree with some of the previous responses... try pumping your breastmilk, at least to start. You can gradually wean him to formula by slowly mixing prepared formula into the breastmilk bottles. As far as getting him to take a bottle... when I was weaning my daughter from breastfeeding, she would only take a bottle from her dad, and if I was anywhere in her line of vision (or even if she could hear me!) she refused to let him feed her. So try letting his dad feed him the bottle, in the baby's own room.
If your baby naps in his crib, the transition to nights in the crib won't be so hard. If he already naps there, try leaving a light on in the room when you put him down at night. I have one child who wouldn't sleep at night without a small lamp on. If he's not napping in the crib, then that is the place to start. If he feels comfortable sleeping there during the day, then the nights are sure to follow.
Good luck!
I totally agree w/ Zelina W do not listen to that first parent they obviusly did Everything right in raising and has no reason to be giving anyone advice!
Anyways, Try slowing introducing the crib during day naps before "just putting him in his crib and force feeding him bottles"!
Make sure before Nap, he has a Full belly and clean pants. If @ naps if he gets alittle upset that he is in his crib, than U go in, tell him he is OK that is is time for sleep(in a calm voice) and maybe even rub his back or lull him until he calms down alittle. *But do not pick him up* Try maybe soft, low music(preferably baby music) in the background
something that soothes him. Make sure there isn't to much or to little light in his room either, try buying a night light or small lamp beside a comfy chair. When he is calm tell himU love him and have good nap and leave the room. Try not to get upset if he cries (it is a natural thing) Wait 5 mins. then go back into the "Screaming room" and reassure him that he is fine, but right now is nap time. Calm him down w/out "picking him up", and leave again. Do this until he figures it out then U can move onto night times in Crib. (which may even be the same night if U prefer)
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