Memorial ideas?
Answer:
I lost a baby boy at 21w3d due to incompatent cervix...he lived for 3 short hours. I know how you must be feeling! Its horrible and no one should have to deal with this.
I have a few songs that I love. At first they made me cry my eyes out but they help me now.
Have your volume turned up because it will automaticley start to play on both.
http://blog.myspace.com/mommy2josalynn...
http://www.compassionatefriends.org/prec...
A heart of gold stopped beating,
Two wonderful eyes are at rest,
God broke our hearts
To prove to us
He takes only the best.
God knew you had to leave us,
But you did not go alone;
For part of us went with you
The day He took you home.
To some you are forgotten,
To some a part of the past,
But to those who loved and lost you,
Your memory will always last.
Daddy Please don't look so sad, Mommy please don't cry
"Cause I am in the arms of Jesus and He sings me lullabies
Please, try not to question God, don't think he is unkind.
Don't think He sent me to you, and then He changed His mind.
You see, I am a Special child, and I'm needed up above.
I'm the Special gift you gave Him, the product of your love.
I'll always be there with you, and watch the sky at night.
Find the brightest star that's gleaming,
That's my halo's brilliant light.
You'll see me in the morning frost that mists your window pane.
That's me in the summer showers I'll be dancing in the rain.
When you feel a little breeze from a gentle wind that blows.
That's me, I'll be there, planting a kiss on your nose.
When you see a child playing, and your heart feels a little tug,
That's me, I'll be there Giving your heart a hug.
So daddy, please don't look so sad, mommy don't you cry.
I'm in the arms of Jesus, and He sings me lullabies.
cbxcvbcv
God Bless You, I will keep you and your Precious Angel in my prayers.
I am so sorry for your loss. The only thing I can think of is making a donation to a local charity instead of people sending flowers and gifts. Also when my Aunt and Uncle went through this trying time a few years ago. They handed out bibles with their son's name in it and the date of the memorial service. Their religion is a big part of their lives. I am not sure if that idea would fit in with your beliefs, but you could incorporate something that would. So many people turned to God and were saved after that memorial service. Again my prayers go out to you.
I am so sorry to hear of your loss. I can't imagine the pain that you are going thru.
Some ideas:
Release balloons at the burial service (pass them around to the family & friends that are there).
At a newborn's service that I was at over a year ago, they allowed the family and friends to watch as they lowered the casket and let the family members shovel some of the dirt into the grave.
Again, I am sorry for your loss.
I'm sure you've heard this a million times but I'm soo sorry.I will keep you in my prayers
I am so sorry for your loss. I planted a beautiful blooming tree in memorial of my mom. I don't know the climate of where you are. Here is another idea: name a star after your son. http://www.nameastar.net/
I am so terribly sorry to hear of your losses and i will pray for you and your family. Can i suggest you capy and paste the below adress into your address bar up the top and go to that exact site. I went to it and i thought a few of the items there are special,
http://images.google.com.au/imgres?imgur...
Stay strong and best wishes for the future WIth all my heart i wish you and your family the very best through this hard time xoxoxo
this is a link for a yahoo group called always--"loved never forgotten" http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/aln...
i hope that can give you some support in your trying times.
here is a link for infant loss and support: many resources and ideas. http://www.aplacetoremember.com/griefwww...
http://www.multiplebirthsfamilies.com/ar...
One of my most-asked questions is 'How can I remember my child(ren)?' There are many options to consider and one of these might work for you.
Consider the releasing of one or more homing pigeons. There are usually local businesses in your community which have homing birds for special occasions and you can rent them for your memorial. Try the Yellow Pages for one nearest you (see one family's story and photos on this Site of their bird release);
Light a special and beautiful candle;
Make a donation in your child(ren)'s name;
Do some volunteer work in your child(ren)'s name;
Some families do not want to take away from their surviving co-multiple(s)'s joy and if the death day is the same as the birth day, the family will set aside a different day in which to remember their baby(ies);
Having photos around the house can be helpful or perhaps making a memorial book. Photos (even just one) around the house will encourage your surviving co-multiple(s) to ask questions and you can explain and answer his or her questions when your child(ren) needs to know and in age-appropriate language;
Consider involving the grandparents in your memorial or special services. They, too, have suffered a loss and are often the forgotten people in this sad situation.
It may be possible to take hand and/or foot prints of your baby(ies). These can be carefully framed in a shadow box with an engraved nameplate.
Our Fifth Family Member...
A friend of mine from Oslo, Norway, who also lost her young son, shared this poem with me. Loosely translated from Norwegian and paraphrased, it reads:
We are four in our family.
We are five in our family.
We have an invisible one in our family.
If you don't know our fifth family member,
You don't know us.
This poem sums up for me the importance to us of always including our Angel Joey as a member of our family.
With the loss of one, more or all of your precious babies, you may feel as if you are falling into a deep, dark abyss and being pulled inside out, both at the very same time. The denial is there - this is all a bad dream and when I wake up, I will have my babies. And there is shock - this is not a part of the plan! This can't be happening to me! It is not easy to go on.
At this very painful and vulnerable time, you will need to take special care. The following are a few tips that have helped others travel this rocky path.
Learn everything you can about grief. There are many good books available on loss, grief and the journey to recovery. Many bookstores carry books on grief, the funeral home can provide a list as can your local library and any grief counselor. It is important to remember that grief is a journey and not a destination. Grief is very personal and there is no right or wrong to grieve and no time frame.
Give yourself permission to grieve. It is okay to grieve, to cry. You have suffered a tremendous loss. Don't try to block or push away the pain. It doesn't work that way. It will be necessary to take the time to grieve.
Be patient with the process and with yourself. You are adapting to a new reality. You are not the same person you were before the death. It will take time. Grief is different for each person, including for men and women. In other areas of your life you may expect immediate results, but this is different. Take the time you need, when you need. Be patient and gentle with yourself.
Get plenty of rest and eat nutritiously. When we are grieving, one of the first things "to go" is our appetite. It will be necessary to get proper rest and to eat nutritiously. If you can only manage a snack, that is fine. Make sure it is nutritious.
Treat yourself occasionally. Indulge yourself from time to time. A massage, walk or exercise workout may work wonders.
Find caring people with whom to share your loss. Don't keep your feelings and pain bottled up inside. There are many caring people to support and assist you: clergy, doctor, counselor, good friend, funeral director. Multiple Births Canada has a Loss Support Network, helpful support literature, a quarterly newsletter Forever Angels and confidential Angel E-Mail Connection between its loss members.
Reflect on your life. It may be helpful to reflect on the relationship you had, however briefly. How will this change you? How will this guide you? So often with loss comes growth. Compassion, understanding, empathy. No matter how brief the life, their impact remains.
Faith can be an important support. Many people find comfort and support from their spiritual or religious roots. Your faith may be an important comfort and cornerstone for you.
Accept help. If someone reaches out to you and wants to help, tell them what you need: a cup of tea, a shoulder, a drive to a doctor's appointment, quiet company. People want to help so if there is something that will be helpful to you, accept their help.
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