Balancing friendship and parenting with kids?
ideas please everyone.
Mitch :)
Answer:
Firstly you and Laura must be friends and do the things you would like to see your children do, i.e. helping the elderly, being well behaved, being respectful. Children pick things up very quickly.
Secondly, there is a fine line between being friends and being a parent. You must be very careful not to cross the line. Make sure that when they get older and are into things you might be offended by, have an open mind. As long as no one is being hurt a phase is normal.
Third, make sure that you and Laura have discussed discipline. Make sure that the two of you see eye to eye. As the children get older you can have more intelligent conversations with them about what they did wrong and why they are getting the discipline they are getting.
Always keep the children in the loop, only with what they can understand of course. Learn from them as they learn from you. Children are a blessing to behold. I have 5 of the world's greatest people as friends that were once my children.
I have been truely blessed and I hope that you and Laura get to experience the same.
I wish I knew what the trick was but I do know that my mother accomplished just that. We have an amazing relationship. Growing up she was one of my best friends but she was always my mother and I didn't disrespect her. I won't say I never disobeyed her but I always respected her.
I always knew that no matter what I did she would always love me and support me even if she disapproved, reassuring your kids that you love them unconditionally is a great place to start.
No reason why you can't have fun with your children & be friends with them, so long as it doesn't interfere with laying down the law. For example, of course you can't tell your kids not to drink, but then hand them a beer at their 16th birthday party so they'll think your cool. Letting them get their way so they won't be mad at you is crossing the line between being a good parent & trying to be their best friend. My daughter is 2 and I want her to always come to me first for anything, but I won't hesitate to put my foot down when it's in HER best interest.
I wanted that for my children and they turned out just that way but all kids are different. Different kids need differernt upbringing. But what I did was LOVE LOVE LOVE them, when they got to be of an age (individually) of decision making, i allowed THEM to make their own decision after giving my opinion to them. I also raised them in church so they knew wrong from right. I made sure they knew I was a person and just not a Mom. This made them respect me highly. I also made sure they never knew what my limit was on anything. Parents make the mistake of not going thru with their "threats" on disipline. MAKE SURE YOU ALWAYS DO!! Please allow them to be individuals and not "perfect" children. We as parents make that mistake and they turn out to be insecure teenagers and adults. I allowed my son to gauge his ears.yuck...but he has always been a good kid and needed to be who he was. Well, years down the road, he let them close up. He just needed a little individuallity. Let them live their lives and always pray for them. Hope this helps!!
this is a mistake alot of people make in my opinion. as parents we are not their friends, you can not do both successfully. one or the other will suffer. however, that does not mean that you do not have a special relationship or bond mind you that far exceeds a friendship. and you can also have a relationship where the child confides in you as they would a friend but that is achieved through consistency and trust and should not be confused with friendship. now once children become adults the relationship can be somewhat like a friendship but i tell you, while they are young friendship and good parenting will clash.
You're kids will have enought friends, you are 1st and formost their parent. You can be there parent and be fun and loving... and make them comfortable enought to confide in you.
Discipline with love. You can discipline your child and get your point across, then hug them and tell them how much you love them.
Have consistent rules and consequences. They will catch on fast and respect you for it later (15 years old or so when it gets serious) you'll have a solid foundation with love and trust supporting your relationship with your child. Then when the time comes that your child is faced with a difficult choice to make they will know that you can be trusted to talk to.
P.S. The more you are involved starting at birth, the better. It is a fact that fathers who change diapers and do midnight feedings are closer to their children when they become teens than fathers who didn't.
Love and discipline go hand in hand.Being a parent is a learning curve. You will knw by instinct when they need to be disciplined and when they need you as their friend.Kids need to haveboundaries.Good luck. There is no perfect parent.
Communication is one important thing my old man didn't give me he just decided using a belt on me was his way of communication.I would have preferred time out or being sent to my room.I'm now 28 and still very bitter twards his raising of us.You need to explain why they were bad.You don't have to spend all day on it though.Kids need to have something to do with you that is constructive like fishing,hunting,golf clean one room at a time of the house together and don't just bark orders and not show them how.Orders are for adults in the armed forces not for childeren.
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