1 yr. old and 3 yr. old?
Answer:
I have children the same age difference and felt myself go through this, too. My first born tended to be much more demanding and unforgiving when the youngest started getting older. She was still loving and would help out alot but when the youngest was able to actively compete for my attention, she got overly critical of what he was doing wrong and requiring my constant attention with the "watch me, momma's".
I realized somewhere in there that I was trying (and often times losing) arguments with my children. And I'm here to tell you you can't win against 3 year old logic. I was the mother, why was I arguing with them? I'm the boss! Also, I realized I needed adult conversation. BADLY. So me and a friend in the same boat decided to join a gym that had day care. We got to get out of the house, talk about whatever, and feel adult for a little while each day.
As the children got older, I would find myself get into cycles where I was upset and yelling at the kids all the time.and I LOVED my kids! I treasured all the precious kid things they did but somehow I was unravelling. On those days (about every 2-3 weeks) I would plop on the couch between both of my kids in mid argument and say I think we need a do-over day. Let's forget about all this and start over. We'd go to McDonald's, play on the slides, eat too much ketchup on our fries, and even get sundays whether they ate their food or not. It was a no restrictions, no requirements kind of day. I let it all go during those trips and managed to pull myself together and wipe the slate clean. It let me start over fresh and forget the stress that had been building up for days.
No, you're not a bad mom. In fact, I'd say you're probably a great mom because you obviously are so vested in your children. I can tell they're your priority. Don't forget to care for yourself though. You'll be able to be a better mom for them if you're able to find a way to meet your grown-up needs, too. Dora just can't fulfill the average stay at home mom. ;-)
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