How come most of my friends who have children have become boring?
Answer:
Because they have kids, they are growing up, you might want to try it, only if you are up to it.
Having children takes up so much of your time. Trust me I use to be the fun party girl and now I have twins that are two and I am the stay at home boring mom. Don't give up your friends but maybe make new ones that don't have children so you can have your fun but still have your old friends.
You will understand when you have a child. The children come first.
Thing is, your friends have outgrown you - ask them and they will think YOU are the boring one. They've moved on - simple as that xx
Maybe they don't wanna risk orphaning their kids if its that risky! Also they probably can't afford to go out as much as before and having kids leaves you tired and makes you realise there is a tiny person who relies on you completely. they could also just be so totally smitten with the kids that they don't want to go out! also they might not have a ready supply of babysitters.
just a few ideas!
You should all go on holiday together, let your hair down, without the kids - granny will love having them for a couple of days. Relive your youth, get drunk and have lots of fun! This is what we do and it works a treat! Don't feel guilty!
They are enjoying their kids, probably.
they've probably got stuck in a rut, with all the staying in and caring for the kids, they eventually decide they don't need to or want to go out as often. taking risks will have a diferent impact on them as they now have children to think about too.
i hope you find some fun soon !!
They have children to take care of, it takes lot out of you not just energy but money! Give them a break!
They probably dont want to be adventurous anymore because what of something happened to them, their children are the most important things in their lives.
when you have kids things that were important before are not anymore. everything changes. the most important thing is your kids.
You have to understand your friends position as well. Risks mean that if something happens to them they may not be there for their children. Once you, yourself, has children you understand that they are the center of your life, and you have to be conscious of everything you do. I have several friends with children, though I do not have any myself. I also have friends without children. I do the fun, "crazy" stuff, with the no children friends, and save the more subtle times for my friends with children. I also find it is a great way to be around children without having to have them yet. We get to go to fairs, playgrounds, and really have a blast with them too. You just have to understand that your friends are not boring, they are just growing up. You will find a place for them in your life I am sure!!
Usually once you got family, things will change especially if you got kids. They need your attention all the time, that sometimes you don't have time for yourself anymore. Your friends haven't been boring they are just too busy to do stuff for theirself, in fact they are doing more adventure than what you think. Looking up your family is already a big adventure in your life. you'l get this as well once you have your own too.
Because when you have kids life stops being just about YOU and becomes about another life who you are now responsible for. You care about someone else and want to put them first. They haven't stopped doing everything, now they are doing something different like spending time with their kids and going where their kids would like to go. Plus the special bond between 2 people when you have a child gets stronger, because you created this awesome little one together, and you want to spend more time together to enjoy your creation. You don't want to take as many risks because if something happened to you, who would take care of the child? You become less selfish, less about you and more about your child. Before kids life is all about YOU, after kids it's about THEM. They are having as much fun as before, just a different kind of fun. I can't stand to see people have kids, then pawn them off on others so they can still go out as before and act like they have no kids.
Raising kids is adventurous!
Because they can't afford to, children soak up about £15million from the day that they are born until the day they reach 18, and if you have children you can't afford to take risks either, as a parent you have to set standards for your children to follow later in life,It doesn't stop couples with children going out on the tiles, but they can't do it as often,your friends haven't become boring but they do have a priorty in their life now, their children.
Kids take up a lot of time and your friends don't have time to come on your adventures any more.
Just like you don't want to sit in the wacky warehouse while the kids play.
Trust me you have to be a parent or still have a very young heart to enjoy watching the kids run around a ball pool.
You have less in common with your friends now. To them children are exciting and adventurous. However, you will never experience this until you have children yourself. Hold on to them though as if you do have kids in the future your single friends may feel the same about you.
I agree! I've lost most of my friends to marriage and babies and to me it seems like they've given up on life.
Now, I'm a single parent but instead of me becoming all dead inside, I've been spurred on to do interesting things. So I take my daughter to crazy places and do stuff with her that I would never have done before just for the sheer hell of it. She loves it, I love it.
Also, I still realise that there is a life outside of the family, and my 'me time' is very precious to me (being a rare thing and all). I tend not to hang out with other parents because there is only so many times I can tolerate conversations on childrearing and domesticity. I am not very domesticated, hahaha... and to be frank, I've BTDT and it's mind-blowingly boring.
Come round to my house - we'll get p*ssed and bungee jump off the roof...
It is cheaper and more interesting to stay at home, have a drink and watch the kids than to go to the pub and watch the friends!
Unless the friends get drunk, then it is a close match, but I think the kids still win.
You are correct, they should be more adventurous. I agree. Let us not forget that everythin in life changes and that is why we all grow. No change means essentially to me the end or death because there is no growth. For example when I was a kid, i used to play with toys, then when i grew up the toys were replaced with somethin else. You see we all change and should not carry on with the same old habits. This is what is human psychology all abot. The change in ourselves! I hope you get the point. Thanks
I suggest having hosting lots of dinner parties, as that means they can bring the children as well.
Because having children mean you now have responsibilities & unfortunately grow up! I have 3 children, a 2 yr old daughter & 10 month old twins & yes I am boring, but not because I want to be. I'm always tired, children are hard work, even having just one child is hard. Also it's not always easy to find a babysitter so if there's no sitter that means no nights out! As for taking risks I'm not sure what kind of risks you're on about so can't comment on that, I will say though that I'm a much safer driver now I have children! When you have children you'll understand!
Have kids and then you'll get your answer
Having a child brings on new challenges...every minute of every day...and some of them make people tired, thus boring!
It's not that the people who have children become boring, raising a child takes up all of your time, especially if babysitters or family members aren't around. I'm sure your friends with kids would love to be able to hang out. Taking risks is different. As a parent, I wouldn't want to do anything stupid to jeopardize my life because I want to live and be there for my children. Having a child really makes you feel older sometimes too- you have repsonsibilities, and number one priority is your child. You'll see when you have children.
They seem boring to you because they would rather be with their child than you.
I was the last of my friends to have a kid so I know how you feel but now that I have a kid I know how they felt.
You'll just have to broaden your horizon and get new younger childless friends because your friends with kids will never put you or activities that you use to do first.
Because now, it is all about the children!! I wouldn't dare take a risk at something that might cause something to happen to me and leave my son without his mother. My son's happiness comes way before mine now. He is my happiness. Priorities change when you have kids. Only someone who has a child knows that.
Having children can be the grandest adventure ever known. To those of us looking in, other people's children are not nearly as engrossing to us as they are to the parents. Understand, they are having adventure--it's just not the kind of adventure they had before.
Encourage them to join in with events you and your mutual friends are doing. If the event is "too risky" tone it down a notch so they'll feel comfortable joining in. Suggest everyone pitch in to hire a sitter and go out for an evening. Make it a monthly or bi-monthly event. It could be that they are so caught up in "life with kids" that they've forgotten about how much they used to enjoy other things. I imagine that once they remember that they are more than just parents--they are people; they might actually begin taking the initiative for themselves.
Because they have other things on their minds. Sometimes things change when you have a child. It isn't about you anymore, it is about your child and taking risks that could be dangerous are irresponsible. Afterall, they have someone who depends on theme completely for everything. Parent's need to be the grownups and realize that what they do, effects their kids.
Now if they just don't go out anymore, or don't want to go to a party or whatever. Then perhaps they just feel that they cannot connect with their friends anymore. I know that happens a lot too. I know when I had my kids, I didn't hang out with my friends much anymore. They were into going out and getting drunk and I wasn't into that.
It's called responsibility. They are now responsible for the care & future of a child. THat does not mean though that you stop having fun. It just depends on what your idea of fun is. Your idea of fun tends to change once you have children. Parents actually ENJOY doing things with your children & usually single people think kids are a bother. Just wait til you have a family one day, you'll understand.
You become more responsible when you have kids! Time is limited! It's a time to grow up too!
Children take up a lot of their parents time but dont give up on your friends as it wont be like this forever
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