I need advice on my partner, i am 16 weeks pregnant?
p.s he also refuses to go to the dr about it cause he says if hes going to do it, he'll do it himself
Answer:
i'm so sorry to hear about that.smoking is really hard to quit. i'm sure he's trying, and is probably really upset with himself for not being able to stop. just be as supportive as you can, don't condemn him, and if he can't or won't stop by the time you're full term let him know that he will have to smoke outside after the baby's born. you can research in the meantime to show him how damaging secondhand smoke will be on babies, like how much more likely they are to get asthma and respiratory infections. good luck!
Bottom line..he needs to stop
really there isn't a whole lot that you can do because it is something that he has to do for himself. You do realize that just because the baby is inside of you, if he is smoking around you the baby is still getting it. What you eat, drink and smell the baby will get also. Just talk to him and be HONEST with him. Tell him how proud you were when he said that he was going to quit. That might help motivate him to wanting to stop also. QUIT SMOKING IS A VERY HARD THING TO DO so just be there for him and help incourage him but DON'T nag.
You might want to gather medical resources, such as pamphlets, videos, anything online (articles), ect. Show him what the smoking can do to the baby. I know for one, it can cause a lot of ear aches and the baby may even have to have tubes in their ears. Second hand smoke is also very dangerous, just as bad as smoking the actal cigarette. Look up all the posibilities of what can happen and share this with your partner. Maybe he doesn't realize the harm in this.
Bottom line ISN'T that he needs to stop, but rather the bottom line is, HE HAS TO WANT TO stop. If he isn't ready to stop, all the prodding in the world will do no good, not even the birth of a child. Education and counseling are some great tools to getting him to quit. Education being an understanding of ALL the ramnifications of smoking, and counseling to help him understand his need to smoke.
my hubby and i are going through a similar situation. make him smoke outside. confront him about the fact that he doesn't seem to be trying, and tell him that it's not good for your baby even NOW. it's cold outside (unless you live in Florida or something), and that alone should help him cut back. it'll be good for you and your baby.
You could tell him straight off everytime I see your cigs around I'm going to destroy them. Keep the anti smoking stuff around everytime he looks for a cig. Be very prepared for him to yell and scream once he does quit. He will be in a bad mood for about 2 weeks and this will stress you out a great deal.
It's really a matter of how much he wants to quit. It isn't easy, but at least you're being supportive. Just keep being there for him, but don't nag. Then he'll stress out and smoke more. Even if he can't manage to do it, it's good he won't smoke around the baby, but he also needs to quit smoking indoors at all, because the smoke and tar linger in the air and on the furniture. Maybe the two of you could clean out the house and not let any smoking happen inside. Then his resolve would be that much stronger, because he would have to actively go away from whatever he's doing to smoke. If you have to think about it each time, it kind of becomes a chore TO smoke, so quitting becomes a little easier.
its really hard to stop, and he doesn't want to see a doctor b/c he doesn't want to stop. The first step is for him to want to stop, not for the baby but for him. Once he makes that decission then he can go to a doctor to get pills for this. The pills are taken through out the day, and lessen as he progresses. once hte pill have been completed and he still has urges the doctor can supply him with more. But hte main factor is he needs to want to stop or himself not anyone else. Good Luck with this.
Can he go outside to smoke? Your babys health is a priority and he needs to know how important this is to you. If he respects your feelings then he will do this for you. Good luck.
i am having the same problem. my husband told me for months he would quit, then it came down to he would quit when i got pregnant. and here i am 5 months along and he still cant seem to. getting better but. you just need to be patient and try to help in anyway you can if it don't work give him space, or be stern if that doesn't work. let him know you love and support him but its not going to work like that
It doesn't sound like he's that serious about quitting. If he were, he would talk to a doctor, find help and a solution that works, and he would quit. Instead, it sounds like he's all talk. And if he smokes in front of other infants, I would take that as foreshadowing for your own baby. If you're serious about helping him quit, you're going to have to have this talk with him.
Remember: nicotine is a very difficult addiction to break (I've heard that only heroin is more difficult). So it's not just a matter of will power. He's going to need help, yes, but he's also going to have to take this seriously. All the help in the world won't work if he's not willing.
give him an ultimatum.
He needs to stop now. The smoke is bad for you and for your unborn baby. Plus, cigarette smoke can increase the chance of SIDS (Sudden Infant Death Sydrome) if the baby is exposed to it after birth, among causing other problems. To help him get motivated, go to the store and buy an aide like the patches, the gum, or the lozenges and give them to him. Also, go to websites that list the affects of cigarette smoke on babies, print out the info, and give it to him. Keep giving it to him until he gets a clue.
At the *very* least, he needs to start smoking outside.
Stand up and be a woman about it! Whoever lets him smoke around the nneice and nephew are accesories and if you let him smoke around you, same thing. Look him in the eye with your best mother to be protectiveness and say, if you want to smoke, fine, but not around me, or these kids, period, get out! He is not trying, because he knows he does not have to.
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