Post Abortion- I uncomfortable being intimate with boyfriend. Post abortion stress synd.?? what should i do??
*I had an abortion this past summer and was extremely depressed before it Once it happened I was relieved, but disappointed in myself i had nightmares for about a month afterward, and once and a while still i really dont think about it at all during the day unless I see a post abortion sign or something like that i am with my boyfriend who got me pregnant. everytime he tries to be intamite with me it makes me really uncomfortable and push him away i am fine once we start having sex- it is just everything before that. it is really ruining our relationship because i cant explain it to him and he thinks it is him or that i am cheating or a million other things that runs through his head i dont know what to tell him or what is causing it
Answer:
You have been through a traumatic experience were your body was used as a battle field so of course you are not going to the same as you were before b/c that is how you got in that situation to begin with. Try to communicate with him when you are not being intimate so he knows when things are getting hot he can be more sensitive. I believe it will be a matter of time till you are comfortable again. Maybe you can seek outside help like a counselor for any feelings, thoughts, emotions you are dealing with. It is always good to get things off your chest with a non judgmental person that won't be biased or give you grief. Good luck to you.
There's no time limit as to when you will get over something traumatic. If he can't understand that, he doesn't deserve to be with you, period!
Your just stressed from the experience you had and may be missing the idea o being a mother please be more careful for your sake 1 abortion can keep u from ever getting pregnant again it happend to my friend who went to a good clinic 3 years later can't get pregnant any way try to keep busy time will heal your wounds
At least give him a chance to understand, explain it to him.
It takes a lot of time to get back to normal - even then - you may have to create a new normal. What yoiu are going through sounds a bit like depression and the boyfriend is the trigger to these emotions that make you feel uncomfortable so its bound to make you feel this way when it comes to sex. Try relaxing beforehand and remember you can't change what happened it's in the past, live for the present by accepting youself, the only person you are cheating is you. Time does heal this pain.
I guess telling the truth is out of the question? Tell him you don't require foreplay any longer and that he should just tell you to assume the position whenever he wants to have a go at it.
Go watch the movie on this site www.silentscream.org . Maybe that will teach you to keep your legs closed if you don't want a child! I'm personally glad you cannot be "intamate" with your boyfriend! If you don't want to risk having children you shouldn't be having sex! Do you really think the PREGNANCY section is a good place to look for symapthy after having your own child violently ripped apart and ripped out? Sure why not have sex, I mean you can just go get another abortion if you get pregnant again, what do you care? It's not YOU who's being ripped apart! Go watch the **** movie and see if you still want to spread your thighs!
Yup, bring on the thumbs down. Why don't you all go watch the movie? It's of a sonogram DURING an abortion. It starts out with telling you about the procedure and then goes right into showing you a poor little 12 week baby being torn limb from limb! All because some girl was careless and wanted to have sex but didn't want to face the concequinces!
this happend to me, he will never understand what you went through or how you feel...it's normal to feel this way and i hope you guys are being safe... if he is a good guy he will understand and stick around. have a sit down talk with him and tell him how you feel...if you ever need anyone to talk to feel free to email me
I'm sorry to hear you needed to have an abortion. My wife and I had a miscarriage, and although the comparison might be debateable, we had a tough 6 months afterwards. We really only recovered after getting past the 3rd month with a new pregnancy.
That said, there's obviously a divide between you and your boyfriend now. Maybe you need to move on, maybe you need more committment... either way, talk it through, take some time, talk to people you trust.
I'm not qualified to make any real suggestions, so take these thoughts as from a complete stranger...
My advice is to see a doctor, if you can aford too. It's wonderful to have the support of so many people who may answer your question, but in this particular case, I think it may be more helpful to seek the help of a professional. I hope you recover from this experience and I think it is really brave of you to make your own choice about abortion, no matter how many opposers you may come across. Good luck.
I will not say anything to hurt your feelings. I think you will need to have some counselling with this. You are having anxiety attacks.. relating to having your abortion and having a deep fear of becoming pregnant again. This is tough and you should not have to explain yourself to your boyfriend. I am sure he is aware of what happened and just tell him your scared. As much as I hate abortions, this is something you have to deal with everyday. Try looking this website and see if it can help you out. I am sorry you had to do this and hope that you can get the help you need.
talk to him and tell him how you feel... if he loves you... he should be able to understand
You are experiencing post abortion stress. Sometimes this can take years to surface, but most women who go through abortion experience it. Contact your local Pregnancy Care Center (sometimes called Crisis Pregnancy Center). They are pro-life, but they are non-judgmental toward any client. Many of these centers provide (for free) post-abortion counseling...again without being judgmental.
A close friend is the retired executive director for our center (Charlotte, NC). I've been there and know how greatly they care about each one who comes to them for post abortion help.
People get dreams and they have a meaning.
This phenomenon you are expierencing is a common thing to have happen. It is associated with paranormal happenings.
The above worlds are showing you what you done.
Things such as this will be entering your dreams...
http://sibbyonline.blogs.com/sibbyonline...
This is what you done to a baby as old as baby like this one
http://video.google.co.uk/videoplay?doci...
The reason that you do not want to do anything intermate is to get you to aviod doing it again.
Because you murdered a baby.
People like you make me feel like commiting suicide!
Hey autumnofserenity@ take your proganda somewhere else. Wow you must feel so big saying hateful things to someone behind a computer screen
YOU HAVE BEEN REPORTED
To the person who had the abortion. You need to go to therapy and talk to someone about this. You cannot feel better about yourself and your boyfriend until you deal with what has happened and get past it. It will take time. This could take months, years but talking to a professional is best and will help you with tools to get past it
I respect your decision and hope things get better for you
People have sex, people make mistakes. Its what makes us human so stop treating her like an animal
youd be even more uncomfortable with a little kid dictating every step that you take, abotion is your own personal business pay no mind to that anti-abortion stuff, its your life, i have a 12 year old daughter and its been hard, i love her with all my heart, i dont want any more kids though, and let me tell you a baby dictates where you go,eat sleep, what you can and cant do, you have a full 24/7 responsibility to be a nurse,doctor,daycare,teacher,c... if you want to go somewhere its not just jump in the car nd go, its this big production, you are always leary of the time because school, doctors appointments,they are always sick, this makes you sick and if you werent ready for that then you chose wisely, its over now, so move on its another day, and arent you glad that it was an option? otherwise you would be worrying about money for a crib,clothes stroller, you would be having to worry about the time off of work, childproofing, on and on and on, id do it all over again i love my daughter, but after my wife had an abortion, we didnt want anymore and i and she are both glad we did it, she didnt add all the drama into it ,it was what it was, thank god she left all that drama out, she made the choice like you did cant dwell on it forever, the sooner you let it go the sooner you will get your happiness back, thinking about it does you no good, look forward not back!!
People don't understand what your going through until they themselves are put into a similar situation. Not everybody is lucky enough to be perfect!! Having said that...
I had an abortion a couple years ago, I was also depressed before it happened and afterword I was really relieved. I didn't feel bad until after I got married and pregnant, then I started feeling guilty because I am so happy to be pregnant and before I didn't even care, I just wanted to pretend it never happened. I suggest trying to tell him that your just having a hard time with the after-affects of the abortion still. Are you on birth control? That might make you feel a little bit better about having sex. Just remember he loves you I guess, and that he stayed by your side through the abortion and after. Time will heal your pain. If you need, go to you local abortion clinic or planned parenthood, they have someone who you can talk to. Good luck, and trust me it does get better.
hi hon, i completely understand what you are going through. Im still working though things myself
there is this forum full of wonderful women who have all experianced pass. it is really helping me at the moment so maybe you would like to have a look
www.passboards.org
www.afterabortion.com
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