1 yr old- Separation Anxiety question, suggestions?
He has a real problem with my husband and I leaving. We've tried several times to bring him to the nursery at church and the gym but the daycare providers usually get us after 10-15 minutes because he gets so worked up.
He plays well at home on his own. We have a large area that is surrounded with babygates and never cries when I leave the room.
Any suggestions or how long this lasts or how to ease him into being without us? Thanks
Answer:
How should I prepare my baby for separations?
As with any transition, give your baby an opportunity to gradually get used to the idea. Whether you're leaving him with a family member or a paid childcare provider, try the following suggestions:
• Let your baby get comfortable. Ask a new sitter to visit and play with your baby several times before leaving them alone for the first time. For your first real outing, ask the sitter to arrive about 30 minutes before you depart so that she and the baby can be well engaged before you step out the door. Employ the same approach at a daycare center or at your nursery, church, or health club.
• Always say goodbye. Kiss and hug your baby when you leave and tell him where you're going and when you'll be back, but don't prolong your goodbyes.
• Always say goodbye: Part 2. Resist the urge to sneak out the back door. Your baby will only become more upset if he thinks you've disappeared into thin air.
• Keep it light. Your baby is quite tuned in to how you feel, so show your warmth and enthusiasm for the caregiver you've chosen. And don't cry or act upset if your baby starts crying — at least not while he can see you. You'll both get through this. The caregiver will probably tell you later that your baby's tears stopped before you were even out of the driveway.
• Once you leave, leave. Repeated trips back into the house or daycare center to calm your baby will make it harder on you, your child, and the caregiver.
• Try a trial at first. Limit the first night (or afternoon) out to no more than an hour. As you and baby become more familiar with the sitter or the surroundings of a childcare setting, you can extend your outings
We had/have this problem with my daughter. I found it best to just kiss her goodbye and be on my way. If I make a big deal out of leaving then it is a bigger deal to her.
I also have reserved special toys for certain occasions when I leave. If I'm taking her to our church nursery and she starts fussing over me I just pull out a special toy, give it to her, kiss her goodby, and leave. She still may cry for 10 minutes but then she is content with the new toy.
I am a stay at home mom too. I know how hard this is on the both of you but you will get through it.
My daughter is now 15, but I remember going back to work. I had a sitter I thought was OK, but I took her out. Thank goodness at that time my sister was doing childcare, and I let her take care of her. I called one day from work and she said she thought my daughter thinks had banded her. Before that day was done she was up and playing. Maybe try some play dates with someone he or you know he gets along with if daycare is not an option. I hope I helped a little.
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