I am worried about leaving my toddler and baby with a childminder?
Answer:
Its always really tough when it comes to your kids, in the end you should just do what you know is right for you and your family
you worry too much
I have never left my kids with anyone other than family or friends, I felt the same when it came to my kids going to nursery as you hear so many horror stories.
Have you looked into nurseries? If you study often you can get childcare cheaper than normal (term time only) - then your children will be able to be in a setting with more than 1 carer (and your fears might be less if there is more adults present) - often Universities and colleges have ones attached / ones they recommend - as lots of people nowadays have children + study.
The problem you face leaving your child is one very familiar to me, and I have gone through it too - particularly when you dont feel confident with the childminder. Do you not have any other family your child can stay with?
I suggest you look around for nurseries rather than a childminder - and after all it wont be that long before you can look after your child yourself - if you have another on the way
Of course you're going to be worried - they're your kids and you don't want to leave them with just anybody. I've never used a childminder but I know a few of them through our kids going to school and if I had to, I wouldn't have a problem leaving my children with them. What you need to do is either find someone who has been recommended to you by a friend or.. meet up with prospective childminders beforehand so it puts your mind at ease. Good luck! x
~I don't think you worry too much. I pay close attention to men hanging around the "childminder." I also watch how my daughter would act when I would leave and when I returned. I would ask how her day went. Does the Day Care provider treat the other children well?
Children can't communicate that well, so you have to watch the way they act very closely. When you pick up your son, allow time to just "hang around" and watch, let him show you around or carry him around and watch his reactions. NEVER be afraid to ask questions, it lets them know you are serious about your child's well being. Trust your instincts.
My daughter was in and out of so many day care facilities, I just quit taking her. Luckily, I had that option.
Check references, even though they aren't always a sign that everything is okay. You sound like a good mom.~
Good luck and Congrats!
I do feel for you. I always think that no one can look after my children as well as I can. We know our children and would die for them. I was very lucky that my mom was there to help when ever
I needed someone. I was never in the position that I had to put my trust in childminders. However, I do have lots of friends that are childminders and good ones at that. I think if would help if you got to know someone personally or if they have been recommended to you. I think you will have an instinct as to whether you like that person and it all boils down to trust. You can really only be alert and let your childminder know how anxious you are - she will understand. Hopefully reassuring you that if your child is fretting or unwell she will contact you asap. Good Luck!
I really understand where you're coming from - we would all like to be in a position to be with our children 24/7. I have to work full-time and my daughter goes to a child minder. I have to say that I am really pleased with her - my daughter has so much fun and has made friends of her own age - it's really cute to see them playing together. In addition, my childminder is not only registered as a childminder but also is a state registered nurse (she nursed for 20 years before retraining as a childminder), so she is fantastic whenever the children get ill.
The key is to take your time checking out a childminder before you make your final decision and to think about bearing the following things in mind:
- Personal recommendations from friends are always a good start.
- Your childminder should be registered as a childinder - your local council can give details of registered childminders in your area.
- If your childminder is registered, they will also be subject to Ofsted inspections. These take the form of both routine (pre-planned) inspections, as well as on the spot inspections. You can ask to see copies of your childminder's reports. If they refuse to show them, do not leave your child with them.
- Your childminder should keep records and a "parent's" book, which outlines their policies on a number of issues, such as their policy on punishments, taking children when they're sick etc. Use this book as a starting point for having a frank discussion about your views on handling bad behaviour etc. A good childminder will want to be working to the same reward / punishment, feeding and nap time routines as the parent, to prevent the children from becoming confused.
- A good childminder will be keen to discuss what might seem like mundane issues to you - such as asking your permission to take photos of your child for her "Parent's Book" or written permission to apply sunscreen. This will show that they are alive to the potential for innocent activities to be misinterpreted as well as signal that they will not allow others to touch your child for the purposes of applying sunscreen etc.
- Ask your childminder what sort of activities they will take your children to (like Mother and Toddler groups or Tumble Tots). Make sure that any activities outside the home are properly registered and supervised.
- Ask if you can spend time observing the childminder at work and see how she relates to other children in her care. You will soon pick up on whether they are happy or not. [The childminder may wish to ask the other parents' permission to allow you to observe their children, so it may not be something you can do at the drop of a hat - but that should be another reassuring signal].
- When you have decided on a suitable childminder, make sure that you attend with your child for the first few sessions, reducing the time there until you're happy to leave them on their own for an entire session. As well as settling your child in, you will also have the opportunity to see if your child and the childminder are developing a good relationship. A good childminder will be very patient with both you and your son during the transition period (I cried every day I left my daughter for the first month - my childminder always gave me a hankie as I was leaving and made sure she called me a couple of times a day to reassure me that everything was OK!).
- Ultimately TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS. You were given maternal instincts for a reason.
You may even find that your son actualy gets a lot out of being with a childminder for a few hours a week. He'll make new friends, start to develop confidence and will probably be exposed to new activities.
I hope this helps - and good luck.
bring your child to all the meetings with you and ask him ask him after who he likes best. let him have 5 min alone while you get a drink so he can used to them to be able to tell u who he likes best
Your worries can be a good thing and they can be a bad thing. You're right to think about all these possibilties, just don't let them run your life. I have an in home daycare and look after other people's children. I will never take my child to an in-home daycare. I know that's hypocritical, but here's the thing. I know what I do and don't do with the children. I know my home is a safe place for these babies. However, I can never know that about someone else. I have a sister that was repeatedly raped by our babysitter's husband. My parents are amazing loving parents, but had no way of knowing it was happening. This couple was best friends with my parents! Eat out - Game night - All that! Nobody knew. I think that there are lots of very good childminders out there! Lots! I'm one of them, but after watching what my sister has gone through emotionally, it's just not worth it. Now, here is what I would be willing to do. There are lots of daycares in the states now that are set up with video. The children and the childminders are recorded every second they are there and you as the parent have the right to request to watch any of them at any time. Some are even set up with a secret password on line so that parents can log on and watch their kids live through the internet while at work. I think daycares are a GREAT thing for kids. It gives them interaction with others that they would never get at home. The most important thing is that you are completely comfortable with who you leave your children with whether that is a friend, family member, established center, or a liscenced in home provider. You could even consider inviting someone into your home each day where you have cameras set up. It's cheaper than you might think. Follow your local laws of course. They are all great resources for child care when handled in the proper way. Best of Luck! I know it's a tough decision.
i understand where you are coming from it is a very hard time for you but if the childminder is a good one she will allow you to drop your child off for an hour or so a couple of times to see if the child settles in ok and to let you get use to it aswell . i would tell the childminder your concerns and talk through things with her also pick your child up early sometimes to see whats going on what activites the children get up to, after a week or two your child should be settled and be quite happy to go there.Childminders are usually very kind caring people who love working with kids. You can read the childminders ofsted reports on the ofsted website to put your mind at ease. Hope this helps Good luck
I don't think you are irrational at all! I am staying home with my daughter for that reason! I do childcare in my home for extra money. My advice is to try and find someone you trust! And the first sign of anything take your kids out. Even if you are just worrying too much who cares? Everyone worries about their kids. Some advice--get references, look for a tidy house, but not too tidy, (kids need to be able to have fun there) and just go by your gut instinct. Good Luck!
Check w/ trusted family and friends where their children go or have gone.And once you pick someone I would pop in unexpected just to see how things were going.They shouldn't mind if there's nothing going on.And I would definitely pay attention to how your child acts when they are around this person.
I have learnt that I have to let go of my children from the minute they were born. So why are you worried? What's going on here?
What do you think will happen if you let you children go to the minder?
If you make an informed and intelligent choice about your childminder you should be able to leave your child with her with total confidence.
My wife and I don't leave our kids with anyone really. She works during the day and I work at night so they don't have to be put into daycare.
Only leave your child with someone you totally trust. If you have second thoughts and are nervous about it, then Don't do it! It is called Mother's intuition. I have 2 kids and have never left them alone with anyone unless I felt totally sure that is what the right thing to do was and I felt totally safe leaving them. You have to listen to your Mother's intuition. It has never failed me. A mother knows what is best for her child even though she may not always admit it.
I would strongly advise you place your children in a creche/playschool which is recommended by other satisfied parents. Check it out. It is only natural for a mother to have reservations such as yours. You are taking your children from a secure family environment and are very correct in ensuring the best possible care for them. Good Luck.
my son is with a childminder who is fantastic i visited about 12 before i found her and what i liked so much is that the children were happy and she also gave me numbers of other parents who i could speak to. all i can say is go with your gut feeling and if your child seems comfortable with the person i also asked how long the other children had been with her that's usually a good sign if she has had the children years and has cared for older siblings
the guilt you feel at leaving your child with a stranger is entirely rational so please don't beat yourself up about it. take the time to visit as many childminders as possible. when you find one you feel at ease with arrange a settling in/trial period. most good childminders will be perfectly happy for you to spend time in their setting with your child. as for references i find word of mouth is always the best and most reliable. finally relax, your little one will be happier with the arrangement if mum is happy about it. good luck
You need to research which childminder you are going to use. I put my daughter witha childminder only to find out a few months later that her boyfriend who lived with her was using heroin. what could have happened still scares me to this day. the woman in question is not allowed to be a childminder anymore. After that awful experience I kept my daughter at home, but had to consider childcare again when I went back to work. She is now 2 and a half and at a creche, which she loves. It is a lot safer as they are checked by inspectors just like a school would. There are also a lot of staff to keep a close eye on the children. If you want peace of mind put your children in a creche or nursery.
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