Help with my child?
Answer:
I am in the same boat with you and believe me it is just a stage. 5 year olds can whine with the best of them and as you know it can be very trying on your patience. I have Friends with 5 years olds who say they are going through the same thing. What has worked best for me is to keep my cool - not let my child see how frustrating it is to me when she whines endlessly. What has really helped me & her is to get her engaged in an activity (playing a board game, art project, tickling her, reading a story or having a dance party in teh living room, etc.). Changing gears and getting her focus off being so miserable usually works...not always however and unfortunately! Good luck!!
talk to her about whinny
Ha, I dated a girl with a 4 and 5 year old boys. They tended to whine and cry a lot too.
I fixed this a couple of different ways, if it was for a boo boo, I didn't rock them and tell them poor baby, I always checked to see what the problem is, if it was serious, and if it was like the tiniest scratch that didn't really matter, I'd offer to get out a sewing kit and sew it up for them (thats if it didn't really need a bandaid of course). Suddenly, it didn't seem to hurt anymore and they would go on playing.
If they would complain of a bump on the head that wasn't serious, or a bump on the leg or anywhere else, I would say "wow, that must really hurt, maybe you should take a nap and rest since it hurts to move" and suddenly, it felt better.
If it's just whining, soap in the mouth tends to work great. After you've done it once or twice, all you need is a warning. I remember my parents forcing a bar in my mouth, that was pretty traumatizing, so I would put a small drop of liquid on their hand and make them lick it off.
It works when you're out and about too, just mention it and say you have some soap in your pocket, and blammo, the whining stops, or becomes almost in audible if they are tired or hungry.
The soap works for abusive language and behavior too, but...I use it on myself too if I get angry and yell, gotta lead by example you know? Boy, did Nathan get a chuckle when I licked soap off my hand for raising my voice to him once!
Her kids could control themselves when they wanted to, and they never whine or cry on my watch (only hers).
In fact, they clean their room when I ask, take baths, go to their room to play, and I almost never get back talk.
Spankings help when things are WAY out of control too, but we went from 5 spankings a day when I first started dealing with them to like 1 a month in like 6 minutes.
The key is, and this is the most difficult thing as a single mother, is to not get angry. When you get frustrated and mad, you have to always be fair, no matter what. If it means a time out for you for doing the same thing, your child will appreciate that, whatever it takes, you have to be fair.
Also, they tended to be whiney when they were ignored.
A quick game or something showing that they were valued, and then they could go off to being happy by themselves in no time.
Talk to her about it. If she is very intelligent she will understand. Also tell her you will not listen to her if she whines.
Don't respond to the whines. Tell her you will listen when she talks to you in a reasonable voice. You need to stick to your guns but she will soon learn that you mean business. Ignoring a child is powerful tool. Respond quickly when she asks nicely or talks in pleasant voice.
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