Bed rest blues?
I can't take it anymore, all I have done for two weeks is sit in my bed, watch tv, and play on the computer!
My five kids are at my moms house and I am so sick and tired of this!
Can some one PLEASE make me laugh? I need funny stories, jokes, anything that will take my mind off of this bed rest situation!
THANK YOU sooooooooooo much!
I have 10 points up for grabs to the funniest person, and don't be afraid to write more than one story/joke, that would just make my day!!!!
Answer:
I totally just copied this from "toietmoi"...in the jokes and riddles section it was so funny
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up.
Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.
It was addressed, "Dad." With the worst premonition, he opened the
envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
"Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I
had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene
with Mom and you.
I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I
knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older
than I am.
But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children.
Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt
anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people
in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.
In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!
Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.
Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your
many grandchildren.
Love, your son, John.
P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house.
I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the
school report that's on my desk.
I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home
I don't know if I can tell you anything funny..definitely wouldn't be the funniest person anyway! :) When I was pregnant with my daughter I was on bed rest for the last two weeks and was soooo bored. I had people come visit each night and talked on the phone a lot. Could you go to a friend or family members house to do your bed rest? That way you would at least have company to make the time go by faster.
Well I am not a funny person but I can empathize I was on bed rest for 4 months with my son, talk about bed rest blues. Sounds cheesy but I was addicted to the show Baby story & some other labor show, It made me remember why I was laying on my butt away from my little gilr getting a big but, lol. Keep the faith not much longer to go
Hey girl, I know how you're feeling! I had to go on bed rest when I was pregnant with our twin daughters (I now have four kids total), and it about drove me nuts!! You would think having four kids I would have a funny story right off hand, but I think I'm too tired to think of one right now. (Boy that was a lot of 'thinks' in one sentence.)
I'm terribly sorry that I don't have a funny story right now, but keep checking back and I'll try to post one for you.
Best of luck with the boredom on bed rest! Hang in there! :)
Two gay guys decided they wanted a baby of their own to raise so they hired a surrogate mother. They mixed their sperm together & took to the clinic, then went home to wait for the blessed event. Nine months later they get a call from the hospital telling them that their little bundle of joy has arrived. They take off for the hospital & rush straight up to the nursery.When they walk in there's 26 babies in the nursery & 25 of them are wailing their heads off. One of them says to the nurse "Which one is ours?"
She points to the only one that isn't crying. He turns to his partner & says "OMG we got a happy one". To which the nurse quickly replies "Ya, well he's only that happy until we take the soother out of his a**".
Do you know the difference between broccoli & snott??
Kids'll eat snott!!
or
A couple was driving down the road one day when she looks at him and says "That's it I have had all the running around & cheating I'm gonna take"! With that she pulls a knife outta her purse, pulls down his zipper, cuts off his penis & flings it out the window! Following right behind them is a man & his 5 year old daughter in a pick up truck. All of a sudden the penis smacks off their windshield. The 5 year old says "What was that"? Well dad didn't want to get into a conversation about the the birds & the bees at this early stage so he said "Ah! Just a bug"! The daughter said "Holy Crap! Had a big dick didn't it"!!!!
There's a couple for ya sweetie..enjoy & good luck!
oh here this'll keep you busy for awhile:
http://shygypsy.com/farm/p.cgi
(The link isn't working this second, but it was earlier it is lots of fun. It is just a word association game)
Also if you want to chat with some mommies, I belong to:
http://health.groups.yahoo.com/group/emp...
And I love the gals on there. (Also there are a few midwives if you need some medical advice)
The answers post by the user, for information only, FeelBaby.com does not guarantee the right.