What does one do when his/her 3 year old child starts swearing?
Answer:
When my 3 yo (now 4) started swearing, my partner & I had a two part strategy:
Not reacting any more to the undesireable words than we would to other words
Using nonsense words when we found ourselves having to angrily exclaim, etc.
It has worked for us. A child that age is looking for a reaction - it's that simple. Don't react for long enough and consistently, and provide other reactions, and you'll get a result.
I don't think this would work too well with older kids, though.
kids say the darndest things - Art Linkletter
and they usually repeat what they hear at home
-the feathers might be out of the pillow on this one
they need to clean up their act yesterday
Leave the child at the bus station...no more problems!
If the 'rents swear, then the kid will. At that age there is no "do as I say, not as I do". They will repeat anything they hear.
Reaction is key. If everyone freaks out, the behavior will continue, if it's ignored (and the parents quit that non-sense) he'll stop in a week or two.
What does it matter to you what they do to make him stop? He is not your child. I agree that a three year old shouldn't be swearing and OBVIOUSLY he is hearing it in the home but it is still none of your business.
When my 3 year old swore (he's 30 now) I told him that he was making mere noises that had no power over me whatsoever, but that he would be punished for making them by the parents of his pals. I told him that as a natural consequence of choosing to make those noises, the parents would forbid their children from being with him, and he'd have no one to play with. He could see the logic in that, and since I was undisturbed, it took all the fun out of it. He stopped. Natural consequences are the best teacher, especially if you remove emotionalism in yourself in connection with the bad behavior. Just getting your goat is a worthwhile goal to a small child, who has very little other power. Remind the child that he is choosing this, and what the consequences might be, and then just watch the lesson unfold. Don't save him from it.
having a child who swears is difficult having to change your own behaviour is the challenge. Children learn from the environment around them and I would venture to say that someone is to blame and its not the child. Correcting the child and indicating that it is wrong is worthless if you don't eliminate the source.
first they have to stop saying it themselves, and totally ignore him when he says it.
Since he's 3, he's probably experimenting and mimicking what he's heard. I would definitely ignore it. Then I would find out where he's hearing it from and deal with that problem!
Good Ol trusty soap in the mouth trick doesnt go astray or if that doesn't work then try a small dab of chilli sauce on the tip of the tongue is also good and effective or theres a non-confrontational approach and that is a Behaviour Chart, every time child swears put a big black X and if they get so many X's then take their most prized possession away from them whatever it being!
Hopefully he is not repeating something he hears at home. It that's the case you can not stop him until his parents and /or others in the household stop. If these are words he's picked up ar preschool or elsewhere. it can be kindly but firmly be explained that that these words are unacceptable. If he continues, then explain it again along with the consequences for this behavior. the Very next time it happens those consequences should be carried out,
First, they need to stop saying it. He didn't pick it up from the dog, he got it from his parents.
I told mine (who picked one up from her pre-school buddies) that people who use words like that look really dumb to the rest of us and she never used it again lol
OMG!! My 3 yr old has been saying quite a few of these colorful words...and when he says the f-word..we say..Nope..no fire truck! And his mind switches to TRUCK?! Where!?
But I found that the bigger the deal I made about him saying some words..the MORE he'd say them..so I've come to ignore them...taking away priveleges to a 3 yr old is pointless...they have the memory of a small flea! Just ignore him and he'll see that saying them doesn't get a rise out of you...Mine hasn't said a colorful word in almost a month..cause we started ignoring him when he first says it...and now...it's NO fun for him to watch mommy or daddy turn 5 shades of red!
I have a 3 yr. old that's going through that now. We've started telling her not to say that and we gave her some other fun words to use in place of the bad ones. We use blueberry, bozo, sizzle, and anything silly we can think of. She likes the reaction she gets when she uses these words in public and it reinforces the use of the cute words instead of the naughty ones. Now when she hears a word that she thinks is on the naughty list SHE'LL say, "Don't say that". Very cute.
Soap.
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