3yo and time out vs no bedtime stories?
My hubby is upset with me now because I rewarded her with stories. I say it's not a reward, but a ritual and she was punished for her bad behavior with the chair. And if I sent her to bed w/o stories then she'd be double whammied.
Help! who's right. If I'm wrong, I can take it so be honest.
Answer:
Male perspective here
First yes you are right, to do both would be a double whammy.
Second, if it were one or the other, I would go with the time out. The bed time story is a bonding time with the parent and the child. In this situation it reenforces that while the bad behavior earned the punishment, the love is still there unchanged. Bed time stories give both parent and child the bonding time, as well as teaching the value of reading.
either way is fine; however, by not enforcing your husband's punishment, you are showing your daughter that what her dad says doesn't matter.
you and your husband should talk (before she misbehaves) and decide what the punishment will be from now on. take turns enforcing it, so she respects you both.
You need to decide on punishment together before you inflict a punishment, otherwise you're undermining each others authority!
I'd side with you. Time outs are important for toddlers because they need the break right then to realize what they were doing wrong. They need time to calm down and then to explain why they were put in timeout to begin with. Taking things away works better when they're older and more in control of their emotions.
That is very normal that a 3 year old doesn't want to clean up, my son is 5 and still doesn't like to clean up. I agree with your method of the time out chair. I also agree that story time is also a ritual for bonding as well. I read to my son several books before bed time. You reward education with stories. You are expanding her mind to learn and bonding with your daughter, that is VERY important to do. You did the right thing. Read to her.
YOU are right, you ARE not wrong. If anybody disagrees well then don't listen to negative feedback. **GOOD JOB MOM** I am glad you talked to her about her responsibilities too. I bet you were awesome about that too.
Both ideas are ok to me but the problem is the issue with you and your husband not coming together. The two if you need to have some alone time and talk about how to deal with disapline because you both need to be on the same page with parenting or else your child is going to have mixed messeges. Like I said its not the issue of who is right who is wrong the issue is how the two of you are going to deal with it and be comfortable with it together.
Both are wrong for waiting until the moment to decide, you should discuss discipline before the incidences. And whatever you both decide, you need to back each other up, or she will learn to play sides. I would think a time out is age appropriate.
There will be many more episodes between you and your husband. My wife and I keep arguing about who is right all the time and how to mange our twin boys (4 yr olds). She deals with them her way and I deal with them in my own way.and guess what.. It works for both of us with different approaches.The problem will always be the adults and their attitude differences.
It is normal for a three year old to not want to clean up her toys. Instead of punishment, which is what a time out chair and bed with no stories is, I would help her clean up her toys. While you are helping talk with her about responsibility.
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