Any one else have feeling of hatred toward friends who are pregnant?
Answer:
I truly do sympathize with your situation. It took me 10 years to conceive, and it seemed like every other woman that I met could just conceive at will. What you are going through is almost like a grieving process for the child you yearn to have. You are hurt and angry that your friend could be so callous towards you, even to the point of thinking of getting pregnant as a competition? This woman is not a good friend to you.
This is going to sound cliche, but time is a good healer. I'd also say to distance yourself from this friend because all her negativity will cause you to feel more bitter and angry. I wish I had a magic wand I could wave and you'd have the baby that you so long to have. If you ever need a sympathetic ear, please send me an email at pinkrosesandpeace@yahoo.com
She doesn't sound like a true friend, pregnancy is a joy not a compatition.. If she brings stress into your life, then cut her out of it, if your stressed, maybe thats whats making it hard to get pregnant? Also my aunt tried 2 years with no luck, went in and got "cleaned out" and now she has 3 healthy kids, 5,3, and 5 mo. Hope that helps..
She sounds like a big jerk. I think your question may be misleading that you hate pregnant people in general. She should be more sensitive to your situation. Don't call her until she calls you. Good luck!
wow sounds like your friend is a self absorbed b**** i don't blame you
i hope all works out and you get your child very soon
i bet your friend will be nice and frazzled by the time the baby is here and will be wanting to return to work very soon after the baby arrives. poor child i hope that mother realizes that its about the baby and not her real soon.
You need to get your feelings under control and concentrate on you. Some people are insensitive but your true friends will be there for you thru disappointments and then when you finally have good news to share. But on the flip side, as a good friend, you need to be gracious and supportive when one of your friends has good news to share. It works both ways. Yes, it is unfortunate that you are having difficulties conceiving, but you can't expect other pregnant women to keep quiet about their good fortune when they are near you. Sensitivity is a delicate concept and both parties should treat eachother as they want to be treated.
Don't worry girl...she's a selfish idiot! She has no clue what she has gotten herself into! She got pregnant to have a break?? Why do people that have a full time job think that raising babies is any different? She sounds ignorant and wants to be the center of attention. I'm sure it will come back to her...what goes around comes around. Just ignore her and focus on having your own baby. At least your child will be conceived with love. I'm sorry your having to take the long road but eventually it will happen and you may even end up with two gifts from God.
The best thing you can do is stay away from her for a while, stress is defiantly not good at a time like this.
believe me i do, i feel the same way right now a family friend is pregnant and shes due like 2 days before me and i just have a jealousy issue because its my time and me and my hubby were trying for over a year or more and she wasn't even trying she didn't even want kids at this time in life! so being pregnant i just feel like all eyes should be on me! i feel awful but i cant help but feel that way its like i wanted a girl and shes having one and im having a boy! not to say i wont love it as much but its aggravating! then it will be race to see who has their baby first! all well obviously god had it this way for a reason i guess! we get along awesome and great i love the fact about us bring up our babies together but i just think they should of been at separate times that's all! i hope no one thinks bad of me! ill get over it tho... that's how i feel! lol good luck Hun!
I don't think you should hate your friend because she is pregnant, you should hate her because she is an ****! She seems self involved, cruel for using the father of her baby and just plain awful for using having a child as a break from work - she's in for a BIG surprise, it ain't no break! I don't know how far you two go back but as I see it you have two choices
1 - Sit her down and talk to her about what is bothering you and hope she clues in
or
2 - forget about her, stop stressing and concentrate on you, your husband and your hopes of having a baby!
Good Luck with all this!
I also have PCOS. I know exactly how you feel...my so called best friend did the same thing to me. She has 2 kids. Her oldest was to trap her husband into marriage and 2nd was to save her marriage. She herself has made VERY hurtful remarks...like "oh you dont have kids (my name) so u dont know what your talking about" she has done things like that alot. I honestly dont know what to do about it myself, but i know i feel hate towards her at times. So i guess its normal. My advice dont let these ppl walk all over you and let them know when they have hurt you, but there are some ppl that you just cant change. Your not alone though. :) Take care and best of luck to you
your feelings are totally understandable from my point of view. (not trying to have kids, nor are any pf my firends.i hope they aren't anyway!! we're only college freshman!) if i'd been trying for that long, with a specialist, and one of my friends said those things, not only would i have said something mean and nasty to her, butshe'd have been hit a looooong time before she got pregnant. she has been completely incinsiderate of what you're going throuhg, and if i were you, i'd no longer count her as a friend.
and someone has got to tell that woman that having a baby is not going to relieve her stress load, no one i knows thinks getting up every 2 hours all night long to feed a fussy baby will releive stress that might have grown from work!! *slaps your friends for being a b&*%$*
Look you can't let this woman affect you. She is obviously a selfish person totally involved with only her own life and no empathy for others. Just keep on trying and I hope you are blessed with an addition to your family soon. If not maybe you could adopt.
I'm sorry, but you're being really petty. Jealously is such a wasted emotion. It's not your job to decided who deserves a baby.
aww. I am so sorry u have been having a hard time getting preg. I know the feeling of wanting one so bad and if i ever had problems concieving it would mess me up. so I feel for u. Now with the friend issue. she dont sound like a true friend to be making comments like she has knowing ur wanting to have a baby of ur own is important to u and u have been having trouble. I think the extra stress that she is causeing could interfer as well with ur fertility. I would cut ties with her at this point in life and let her live her life and u live urs. U WILL get preg. I can feel it. Just let God be God. He knows the time. I know that is hard to hear cause u want this so bad, but its true. She says she wants a baby just to take time off work? what!! does she realize being a mother is HARD work? probley more then what she does now. Being a mother is a 24 hour job with no breaks. good luck to u and God Bless
For you thing you shouldnt be upset cause it does take time to have a baby. (oh and by the way i hope you do get pregnant cause its wonderful i love every minute of it, good luck) You're friend needs to really shut-up because just wanting to have a break from work isnt really going to help her when the baby does come cause they are hard work. And its not right for her to be going on about it. Well duh i didnt start showing until i was about 5 months cause im a skinny person. You should just be like hey what you say infront of me hurts cause ive been trying for a whole year and its hard for me to get pregnant and its not right for you to be saying some of the rude comments around me. I hope that helped.
Don't let her bad attitude give you one. Sounds like it's already starting. With her attitude, it doesn't sound like she's going to be a very good mother or wife. Sounds like she's just using the baby thing to stay at home. If they stay together they will probably grow apart, she will not do her best for the baby.
Don't let anything about her ruin your dreams for a family. Just take it the way it comes. If it's intended it will happen. Make a happy home for you and your husband; so when you do become a mother, you will have the foundation started. It will all work out for the best for you. You will see. You've heard the saying, "You can't fight mother nature." Just wish her the best along the way and don't let her think it bothers you. God knows when and if you will be a mother; let Him lead the way. He is a good giving God. He has His own time table. You will see. Believe. It will be worth the wait.
She's not sounding very sensitive towards you but you have to realize that this is a really exciting time in her life and it overshadows anything else that's going on - especially issues in other people's lives. This doesn't excuse her lack of sensitivity towards you but should explain her position. As with anyone who's a first time parent, the excitement dies down after a while and you start focusing on other things in your life again. And it's hard to be happy for someone else's success when you are having problems yourself.
If it's that difficult to be happy for her, just put some distance between you and her for a while until you can better deal with your own situation. That being said, it would be a shame for you to close yourself off forever from anyone who's having/had babies.
I know exactly what u mean. Im sorry! Ive been trying to conceive for the past year and just found out that im having complications because of Endometriosis but when i started trying, my friend went and started trying and came out prego in the same month! I also was upset because it felt and seemed like a competition thing with her but all u can do is limit your relationship with her. I still speak to my "friend" but its limited. I really dont want to hear her brag about her pregnancy. Good luck to you and the next time either u tune her out or take a deep breath and count to ten girl!
O dont get me started, man o man! Ok here it goes. I sorta feel u. Me and my husband have been trying to get pregnant for 34 months now(on waiting list for IVF now). one friend wanted to have a baby, the next month she was pregnant, one said she was trying for 9 months but was of the ring 1 month b4 got pregnant, when had a baby 3 months ago b4 she got pregnant again, one said she was going to try after her birthday and 2 weeks later she found out she was pregnant, another tried for a week and got pregnant, well I have more but u can see where I am going with this! Like I said we have been trying for 34 months, we also charted for 16 months, been on clomid for 5 months, been on femara for 2 months, did 3 IUIs, had 3 surgeries, lost 3 babies, onto IVF and hubby has low sperm count! Good luck to u, trust me I know it sux watching everyone around u being pregnant I deal with it constantly rubbed in my face, and it probably doesnt help that Im a preschool teacher either!
Okay. Two things I would say to you. First of all, your "friend" is pretty insensitive! She clearly has no idea how you feel about your fertitlity issues, and doesn't seem to care, either. Who needs a "friend" like that?
Secondly, your feelings of anger are very normal, and would be even if she wasn't an insensitive boor! You are mourning the baby that you can't seem to conceive. Dealing with feelings of loss takes time, and sometimes counselling. Good couselling isn't easy to find, but good books are. Perhaps you can find some books on the subject of infertility at your local library, or talk to a good friend or relative that you trust about your feelings.
And don't despair! Many women conceive after they had all but given up hope. Some of us never do. I am 45, post-menopausal, and past any chance of giving birth to a child. The good news is that, after 17 years, my husband and I adopted a baby girl, and then a second baby girl! And guess what? They are just as much mine as if I had bourne them myself. Should you decide to adopt, don't let anyone tell you different!
"Not flesh of my flesh, nor bone of my bone,
but still, miraculously, my own.
Don't ever forget, for a single minute,
You didn't grow under my heart, but in it!"
-author unknown
Good luck to you, and God Bless!
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