Why is infertility so unfair?

I just got back from a few hours of comforting a neighbor who just got back from the hospital.His wife ended up in there after a suicide attempt. She swallowed all of her epilepsy medication and was found passed out in the bathroom. She may now have organ damage (its too early to tell yet).What caused this? To sum it up, she and Frank (her husband) have been trying desperately for a baby for over two years now with no success. When I last talked to her, she explained to me that she had become really religious, putting all her faith in God, and attending church regularly. She believed that she would become pregnant after a dream in which God had told her "to prepare the nest" (the words she heard in the dream). She was certain she was pregnant later, but it turned out only to be a late/missed period. She was devasted. She told me that why as a good person she should be barren when drug addicts and unwed mothers can so easily get pregnant. I didn't have any answer for her. Any help?

Answer:
Wow...I feel SOOOO sad for this lady. This is the most heartbreaking story, my fiancee' read this and had tears in her eyes. Life is not fair I fear. I hope she hasn't ditched god on account of this
There isn't an answer. It's not the drug addicts' or the unwed mothers' faults that your friend is having trouble conceiving a baby. It seems like when you can't conceive, everyone around you is pregnant or has a newborn and it exacerbates your awareness of your fertility problems.

I"m really sorry that your friends are having such trouble with this. I think the first thing they should do is seek some counseling to come to terms with the idea that it might take some extra work and treatment and testing for them to have a baby. Or that maybe they weren't meant to have a biological child and there might be an adoption in their future.

Have they sought fertility treatment from medical professionals or have they just been having sex and hoping for a baby? SO many fertility issues can easily be diagnosed and treated with simple procedures or prescription medications these days that it would be a real shame if they haven't sought medical intervention.

There isn't much you can say to make this better for them. Just be supportive and "there" for them.
Sorry to hear of her grief. Unfortunately, God is not always fair with his decisions. My aunt went through the same thing for many years and suffered many miscarriages. Finally, after much counseling to help with her depression ( I would highly recommend this), they decided to adopt and were blessed with a beautiful happy boy who otherwise might of been left to grow up in multiple group homes. There is not much that you can say at this point other than to offer your support. She really will need to see someone to help with the depression. Also, if adoption is not an option, have they tried infertility treatments or even been tested? My aunt had a abnormal thyroid that constantly affected her hormones, thus the infertility. Somethings can be corrected or overcome with the right medical help. Good luck.
Sorry to hear this and ya its unfair that women who find a good man , marry and do things right cant get pregnant...but those with no idea what they're doing can.

I had a close relative who married in a similar situation. They ended up becoming foster parents. Alot of people online will advise people to adopt, but they never would do it themselves. But truthfully its changed my relatives lives for the better.
After 8 years of infertility, I have pondered this question a lot. I think that we shouldn't expect a baby or consider it a reward for good behavior. We ALL have difficult issues in our lives, whether it is a problem with a romantic relationship, a sick child, addiction problems, or dealing with the death of a loved one. The problem I have to face and work my way through is infertility. It is not a curse or a punishment, but rather a learning lesson I have to make it through if I want to improve my soul. I have no idea what the final result of my trials will be, but it gives me peace now to know that I am growing spritually by accepting this challenge for what it is.

As for the drug addicts and unwed teen moms, yes sometimes it hurts, but I just remind myself that my life plan and their life plans are different.

I hope your friend finds some peace soon. Maybe if she starts to examine some other options, like fertility treatments or adoption, it will help her organize her thoghts and regain some control over her own life.
I am so sorry to hear that she is having a tough time with this. No its not fair, it seems that its so easy for some, and so very hard for others. Theres some people out there that would do anything to have a baby and cant, while others could care less that they can, often not deserving of them. Good luck to her, I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers.

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